A little later, we’re going to explore when saying nothing is better, but as a general rule, please don’t hide or keep quiet around your depressed loved one. When your girl has time, she'll reply to you by text. Below are a few links that should get you up to speed. The fact is, depression isn't an easy fight -- but you don't have to suffer from it in order to be a source of comfort for those who do. “All I want to do know is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on..” 11. Even sending a quick text saying “I’ve been thinking of you and I care about you” can help. When you care about someone who’s living with depression, it’s tempting to drop everything to be by their side and support them. Keep asking open questions (without being pushy) and expressing your concern. Think about it, if your illness tells you that you’re weird and unworthy of normal things like friendship. Keep reminding, and proving, to your friend that you are there for them and, though it may not look like it, you’ll get through to them a little bit at a time. Offer your thoughts and advice, but don't tell her she's wrong or … But you don’t understand, when you stand up and say that you’ll be there, and you aren’t, that’s more evidence my depression uses to prove that I’m not worthy of love or care or even my next breath. Let your friend know you’re there for them. The fact that you care means more than we can ever express to you. I’ll flat out admit; I’m not here because of myself. Kristen texts me, almost daily, something to remind me that I’m tough. To counter the lies my depression screams in my ears, my Small Group goes out of the way to remind me how great it is when I come to one of our Bible studies. You could start the conversation by asking questions such as: ‘It seems like things have been hard for you lately. This is something that'll do the opposite of cheer her up. It’s time for school. Depression often involves sadness or a low mood, but it also has other, less well-known symptoms. That’s depression. You want your friend to feel supported but not guilty if they’re not up for chatting. It’s okay to take space for yourself if you feel emotionally drained, but it’s also important to avoid blaming your friend or saying things that might contribute to their negative feelings. ” Category: Nice texts for a sad friend:: “You are surrounded by people who love you and who will always give you a … 2. That just makes things worse. – I don’t want to see you suffering because you’re my best friend, and all I can do is sit next to you and give you my friendship, and as long as this takes, I … I know I can’t make you feel better, but just remember you aren’t alone.”. Discover now some of the best messages you can send her. Here are a few suggestions on how to comfort a friend via text message: "I really wish I could hug you now instead of sending this text message. I hope this guide gave you a few good places to start in comforting someone with depression. Keep in mind that your friend may want to talk about what they feel, but they might not want advice. “Don’t say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry.” 10. But, keep an eye out for these two in particular and you have a head start. 26. This friend clearly didn’t understand what it meant to fight an illness hand in hand together and rely on each other. I’ve had people dismiss my feelings of loneliness and isolation simply because they didn’t get it. When we can’t take anything positive, it is a perfect time just to listen. They’re on trial for their life each day; you want to be on the right side, speaking truth and positivity into their lives, not the opposite. Show them how awesome they truly are. Read up on the symptoms, causes, diagnostic criteria, and treatments on your own. While the stigma of mental illness clearly exists and plenty of people treat us as weird, we aren’t as alone as the depression makes us believe. If, in spite of your attempts to help, your loved one still attempts or completes suicide, do not blame yourself. My closest friends and family, even my Thunder Buddies, have no idea the horror that goes on inside my brain. When you care about someone who’s living with depression, it’s tempting to drop everything to be by their side and support them. So you might say to your friend who’s going through a bad break-up: “Of course you’re devastated. Figuring out how to comfort someone with depression isn’t easy. Eventually, we have no responsibility, nothing to keep us going. "Your follow-up text could be as simple as, 'Hope you are hanging in there. If possible, stay with your friend until they no longer feel suicidal. Think about it, if your friend had Cancer you would show concern for both your friend and their illness. Many seeds will not sprout, but it’s the few that do take root that makes a big difference during particularly dark periods where we feel nobody would care if we died. And while we often pair this mental illness with emotional pain like sadness, crying, and feelings of hopelessness, research shows…. Messages of Support . How could I feel this way if it isn’t true? There are many ways to treat depression — therapy, medication, exercise, food — and now mobile apps. Depression fills our brains with endless lies. It can be hard to know what to say to a depressed or anxious friend. I know you must be feeling devastated and lonely now. Any coach will tell you, in a team sport, you must talk to each other. Here's what you should know and how to get support. If I were only fighting for myself, I’d be dead. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. If your friend or loved one struggles with depression, it feels overwhelming, and you don’t know how to support them. Look, we know you don’t know what it’s like, but it means a lot more to know that YOU know that you don’t know what it’s like for us. Can I check in with you then?”. One of the sweetest things you can do for a depressed partner is to reassure them of your commitment. 1. You can help reassure your friend by continuing to extend invitations to activities, even if you know they’re unlikely to accept. Their pain is so great, so scary, a real mystery that you may feel apprehensive to say something to them. When they do it, it reminds me that I matter and that they are cheering for me during this fight. But then don’t offer to be there. Now when I drive home from Small Group, and depression tells me why I should just die. You’re not alone. Sometimes it’s just her complimenting my strength. We need to know, not only that you care about us, but what we’re going through matters and you care about that too. So even though depression gave me a crappy day, my wife forces me to notice the positivity I’m creating despite it. I woke up at 1:25 AM to a panic attack, then woke up at 3:30 in despair. Tell a adult, because you'd rather have a mad friend than a dead friend. You’re there and want to learn more about what your loved one is going through. Depending on why they are depressed... did something happen, did they recieve bad news, etc. If your friend is behind on dishes, laundry, or other household chores, offer to come over, put some music on, and tackle a specific task together. Tell each other what’s going on so that you can better handle the opponent. Depression can make a person feel worthless, but you can use encouraging words to support your friend until your friend remembers his or her worth again. Your friend may not be aware they’re dealing with depression, or they may be unsure how to reach out for support. If you’re concerned about your friend, you might worry that mentioning it to them could encourage suicidal thoughts. Say something like, “I can’t imagine how hard that is to deal with. I had a friend once carelessly ask me if Kristen and I were a little co-dependent. Or I’ll try to bring up the positives three or four times and she will refuse to catch on. Get friends involved. If I don’t believe I have value or worth to those around me, it’s too easy for me to assume I can just disappear. Knowing when to say something and when to shut up is an art form. Again, not every seed will sprout, but the ones that do, they’re game changers. Expecting your friend to return to their usual self after a few weeks in therapy won’t help either of you. Engage with your friend by using active listening techniques: Your friend may not feel like talking the first time you ask, so it can help to continue telling them you care. And if you’re feeling burned out or frustrated, you won’t be much help to your friend. Category: Nice texts for a sad friend:: “You have qualities and virtues that make you special, I admire you very much and I don’t like to see you sad. I feel as though I’ve accomplished nothing with my day yet Kristen refuses to let me think like that. Make sure they can’t access any weapons or drugs. But why are we still feeling like self-care is selfish? This is the type of text message you might send to a friend or family member whose life isn’t threatened by an illness, but may be struggling with a lengthy sickness. There may come a time when your friend wants to find out what foods may help with depression or how exercise can relieve symptoms. The only contact I have is with Kristen. I need her warmth and comfort, but I don’t need her to talk. The rest I’ve let drift away. Be positive my friend! I’ll be honest, comforting a depressed friend or loved one is an uphill battle. Sometimes a person's presence and a listening ear with a shoulder to cry on is the best way to comfort a friend. Don't face mental health challenges alone. Over-communicate just how valuable they are to you and your life. If you start to say something positive, and we counter your argument with a “yeah, but” and then you do it again a few more times with the same result, just give up on trying to inject positivity. If your friend seems interested in counseling, offer to help them review potential therapists. And try to lift their spirits. It’s difficult to explain, but there is a difference between the people who care about me and the ones who also care about what’s happening to me. Depression already has me convinced. I have boundless respect for anyone who has the desire to help those of us who struggle with this awful illness. Depression will do everything it can to convince your loved one that you’re wrong, that you’re lying, that your loved one is still worthless. Take them food, whether a casserole, a pre-sliced ham, turkey breast or grab and go food, like a tray of sandwiches, veggies, fruit. If you want to help them, here’s how to make someone feel better in no time! Offer to help them create a safety plan to use if they think they might act on those thoughts. They can also text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.