I’m not sure what I should do because this break is only distancing us away from each other. I dont want to be the first to contact, because i have done all the past times, and he is the one that wants space, so im trying to respect that. It is important to spend time with other people when you are feeling down, but for just a break, the situation requires something different. I’m glad you posted this! After 4 days, I was so mad, I cussed her out and I almost broke up with her. Yes you can call it jealousy but i am just very protective. 21,643 21.6K. Depending on where both of you are, on both an emotional and mental level in your relationship, if you follow a set of marital separation guidelines from the start, you can save your marriage and go back to your former way of life. I got blackout drunk 3 times in a week and bombarded his phone . Throughout these 5 yrs we had good times bad times happy times sad times we been through it All together. We had big fights about the situation I told her it was over but took her back after a week or so. He claims he still loves me which I believe but I have been struggling with this for a while and am not sure if I can go on. About 2 weeks ago we got into a huge argument and I felt like she didn’t love me anymore. Hey guys, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 or 4 months. A friend of mine told me he saw him with that same chiq twice and when i asked him, he insisted on us taking a week break. I got frustrated and slammed my hand against the wall at our work and people saw me do it and then they expressed to her they felt this tension from me for the last month and a half. SHould i call her or should i just wait? These attacks were new to her and she has been freaking out. I mean, our relationship was keeping in secret. You say to arrange a call or communications. Hi. It makes me angry cause I was happy even tho things where bad with fighting and I wanted to marry him! We went long distance for a period of time in which the cheating happened, yet we continued with a great relationship, we have always had good communication, very similar interests and goals in life, we kept our romance and love alive through various means... We became best friends and felt safe and secure with each other, yet carried on our own individual lives being away from each other, it had that feeling of perfectness even though it wasn’t, we both found what we wanted in life from a partner. I finally said no more. if there are any men reading this blog, you should definitely help us out on this one. “A break is often a welcomed reprieve from relationship and a … The following month (jan) was off and on happiness as she would occasionally be stricken with anxiety over our relationship. So she decided to call a break in us. Reading these stories help me understand other peoples insights. If you need his assistance in life contact him: . I was extremely worried so I decided to make the first move & told him I was in love with him, etc. photo credit creative commons license Wesley Fryer. I told him I love him and that I will be waiting for him until he decideds its time to talk to me. I wrote a group email about a band show I had and how a label picked up my band. I got really frustrated, I was so kind and he just mean and mean and mean. Is this normal for someone getting over a breakup? I tried to fix it & I asked one of his friends to tell him to re-add me again. I am relaxed now. It really really ***** to be in this limbo because he didnt tell me how many days it would last. Flytedesk. For example, if you are fighting and constantly arguing, it could be that one or both of you may be insecure or lack proper communication skills. Instead of seeing her 3 or 4 days a week, it went to seeing her once, maybe twice if I got lucky. I felt I was the one putting more of myself and heart in it. Many couples decide to take a break because they’re facing some relationship challenges, difficulties, and/or doubts, but they don’t want to break up or give up on the relationship … I was in your shoes for the first three days. Being in a relationship, you lose half of yourself. Her and I have been together officially for 5 months, but dated 6 before committing fully. We are complete opposites and couldn’t come to compromises. at first he suggested for termination which i am against off.his reason? presently I and my bf are on a one week break. It has been a year this month since we have been back together and I have to say, the last year has been the best yet! Being on a break can be really hard, especially if you're used to talking to your SO regularly. I made the phone call short and said that’s all I wanted to know and we’ll discuss more when we see each other again next Friday in the couple’s counseling. It I still don’t like the break and I think it’s ridiculous that we are not together working through our issues and had to cut off communication for three weeks. I do still love her though. The last fight was really bad and she never wanted to talk to me again. So now, when i needed my partner most, he decides he wants a break because he ‘doesnt know how he loves me’. I said that a girlfriend of mine said that we should take a break .. He would text me here and there throughout the day but not like before. The funny thing is I’m not forceful with anything and always try to ask for her ok on things. most of the time are these men too afraid to break up with us and "taking us along for the ride" as kamnCal put it? I understand but not being able to be with the one i love hurts so bad. Talk openly about jealously. He never wrote back. I waited. Unlike the other people on this feed, we agreed that he would message me once a day to tell me that he still loves me, and to pinky promise that he will come back in one month. I don’t want to get hurt or something... Should I break up´with him again? Think of this when you are going through tough times, use the tough times to make a greater you and use the suffering and pain as an opportunity to grow... Every blooming flower has seen a lot of dirt! How could she tell me she loves me first, and then even go out of her way to tell me again after we had a near breakup. The only advice I can give is to really give him space. For the times that I did get to see her she wasn’t the same. Am i meant to just step back and wait for him to contact (i dont think he ever will), or step up and say look if you dont know by now, you obv dont care enough? Yes being young staying together we both had ups and down together from struggling on bills to having a abortions we both really didn’t want to do but couldn’t afford at the moment. After an actual breakup, it is easy to want to immerse yourself in friends, new relationship prospects, or both. I was having a hard time dealing with his work schedule, he has 2 jobs, travels a lot and, even thought he lives in mu building, we only spend time together during the weekends. Given him more space now he’s been coming over cutting grass and painting etc , but said he couldn’t come back permanent just now he’s enjoying the space ! I was. Almost one year after my horrible break up... 2 months since a break up and communication has slightly opened? He also texted me good night and Goodmorning yesterday. are they really helping the relationship work by being absent? What does this all even mean? Maybe with the space, it gives us the time to rewire ourselves. Reconnect with friends and interests that you let drift during your relationship.”, If your partner was the one to suggest taking a break from the relationship, Leckie says that's all the more reason to put down the phone. What does that mean? Give it to her. I do not know what to do at this point. if you want to be with someone than be with them and work through everything together. Otherwise there will be no more "us". I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now. It has only been the 3rd day of this 2 week break but it feels like much longer. With our arguments it’s like a distraction. It’s been torture and I woke up that morning asking myself, "Why would someone who tells me that he loves me put me through this pain? She always stayed at my house along with our son and dog take notice we both are only 21 at the time. But I don’t cry hysterically over it anymore it just hurts and I just can’t stand picturing that. She wasn’t as "engaging" as she used to be. He almost said he chose a wrong decision when he spent time with me more than his friends and his family. She was being short and cold, so I asked how’d she feel about everything and it seems that my overall attitude is what has pushed her away-the way I reacted from our argument. He told me he wasn’t feeling so good and he just went to bed, I told him ‘’If it’s my fault I’m sorry, I love you so muchhh, get well soon'’. My girlfriend (of 19 months) and i have both agreed to a break. So I am taking this time, to focus on myself such as exercising, hanging out with friends, travelling and most importantly shopping. Our anniversary was two days after his birthday. I don’t know what to say, that was amazing, I have never seen him like that. We have both cheated, I was honest about it while she hid it and lied about it for a long time...We have had an amazing relationship for the almost one year we have been together, and this time felt very different, and it was a mutual feeling for both of us. 2 days ago he sent me a text message and asked if I have time to talk, I said talk about what? I didn’t want to fight, I told him ‘’never mind'’, ‘’just forget it'’. We have been together for 3 years and almost 2 months.4-6 times a month and over the holidays we go and visit our hometown for 2-3 weeks. What if he does not talk to me about the relationship anymore? How do you keep your mind off it? One thing the two of you can talk about is if you do both really, truly love each is to set healthy boundaries where both your needs can be met - in doing so you both will have to compromise some I’m sure, but it’ll bring you closer in the long run. Understanding the difficulty of her situation, I wished she could have given me more time to be us, but in reality even though some people in her situation could have, she being the person she is could not and I got frustrated and told her I couldn’t be in the middle of this any longer, she had already told me that she thought this was unfair to everyone involved and I agreed. So we text good morning and goodnight the next couple of days but no other communication. At first I tried to get him to change his mind but then I decided that wasn’t the best idea so I let him know I was devastated, but I would give him the space he needed. Our 6 months is April 26.... Do we celebrate it? You never know what it’s going to throw at you. I realized I didn’t want to break up with her because despite our many issues I loved her more than that. We’ve been on a break since September the 30th of this year and communication has been really bad. A couple may recognize when areas of concern are present in the relationship, but they may not attribute these difficulties to poor communication. We saw that day & cleared things, he told me that his friends were telling the true & that he still had feelings for me... We got back TOGETHER AGAIN! She has said she wants to resume things after she figures things out with her kids. What if there’s no agreement? I was so happy and it was the best news of my life. I let her spend time with her friends and all I ask Is for her to give me some time too. Talk about the terms of the breakup. I see this issue with a lot of women. I’m very afraid of that day to arrive and not seeing him there. However, if you're considering asking for a break because you're avoiding taking responsibility for your desire to end the relationship or are simply delaying the inevitable difficult conversation, know that you want to break up and not to take a break. My GF has slowly been pulling away and I think it has something to do with her feeling that her independence is slipping because we’re in a relationship. In my situation, it took 5 weeks of absolutely no contact. For some, "taking a break" in a relationship can just be an easy way to ignite an actual breakup. I finished the conversation with a ‘’bye'’. I tend to spew stupid things out of my mouth when I’m mad and this time I don’t know if she will forgive me. I’ve had to stop myself several times today from contacting her.. she is truly the focal point of my life. Hi there, I totally agree, as women we are emotional and arw deserving of honest answers. Please help, Hi me and fiancé had a huge row 2 weeks ago he was so hurt by it mainly my fault he said he needed space a break back at his mums , said he loved me but think after fight it was all too much for him, I didn’t really give him the space phoned him texted him a lot! He feels the same and wants to divorce to make it "right", but with 4 kids it is a tough decision. She told me that she wanted a break. “They have said they aren’t sure about you and the relationship, so you don’t want them to feel like you are just waiting in the wings for them,” she warns. to which he replied "I can tell you 100% I do not want to break up with you, I love you and I know you are the only girl for me, I just need some time for myself" does anyone have any advice for me because I have already text him twice and feel terrible I will not do it again in our 2 week break, but is it ok for us not to communicate is it ok in a break to have no communication, I love him so much and am so angry with myself for making him stressed and upset that i want everything to be fine and work out, does anyone have any advice of what i can do?? We are supposed to meet after 3 weeks to go to an event together.